OUR CHRISTMAS 2011

athena-janina-chelsi-rella is back once again!
hahaha the second time that we're complete.
We often see eachother because of our schedules.
But still our cousin Mameng is not here also.
Looking forward to have a picture together with her :)Top Side: Tita Issa and Mommy Cosy

Botton: from Left: Ayka, Janelle, Chelsi, Me and Diorella
And the guy whose wearing yellow shirt is my uncle Martin! :)

From left: Ayka, Chelsi, Diorella and me of course

These are the food that we eat for dinner last night. (Shrimp, spaghetti and rice of course prepared by my mom, Lumpia prepared by my lola Cosy, the dessert which is leche flan prepared by my auntie Issa and a cake from sugarhouse bought by my sister)

After eating our heavy dinner, all of us were saying "BUNDAT nanaman ako.. sulit ang Pasko.. NAKATATABA'' hahahaha... funny much.. but its true it's very nakabubusog na food. We ordered KFC pa kasi marami pang visitors ang dumating.. hahaha.. 42 pcs of kfc chicken.. (Yummy!)

My relatives spent their Christmas in our home (New Year is next. hihi) We were not complete but still we really enjoyed the whole day. Our lola is very generous because she gave each and eevryone of us a gift even our maid. Also, we had some pictures taken before everyone left the house. It was a fun and tiring day but it's really worth it.

Some faaily members are still missing. hahaha.. What a big clan, right? :)

I JUST LOVE THIS PICTURE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :)

Give love on Christmas Day!

Merry Christmas everyone! ♥
SPREAD LOVE! :)

Christmas is not just about the gifts we give and receive.. IT'S ABOUT JESUS! :)

IRITATING

I'm really pissed off today because one of my friends in facebook pm'd me and he was like making paikot ikot.. First he pm'd me ng "...." parang.. ako... huh? ano yun? so I asked why.. so in short.. he pm'd me if pwede ulit mangutang.. Okay.. wala naman masama if that's the reason.. pero naiinis lang ako kasi he asked me to borrow money from a choirmate na hindi ko naman kaclose.. hindi ko nga rin friend sa fb. NAKAKAINIS kasi for him sinasabi niya na okay lang.. but for me its NOT OKAY.. ang user ko naman kung ganun.. ugh! BADTRIP TALAGA! :|

Let's runaway to the place where love FIRST found US

This is the video I made yesterday. I will show this to him on the 21st because as I said that is the day for the final judgment of our relationship. :( I just wish that after showing this to him mas maging okay talaga. Though nagkita kami last friday.. And shockingly, for the one week ang akala niya ay TOTALLY BREAK NA.. we talked pero sure pa din ako na hindi kami totally okay. So this video will helped us realize the memories that we've been through and andito din yung message ko sa kanya.. I'll let him decide if we're going to end the relationship. Very dramatic ito.. hihi

NEVER LET YOU GO :)

We've spent those countless times
Together in each other's arm
How am I supposed to live
Without your love
I can't without you
I just can't

-Never let you Go by Juris

It's the 7th day and it seems like.. it's been a month.. You may say that I am over reacting pero that's the way how I feel about it. Tss.. I was suppose to use this time, to try forgetting you and try starting a new life without you. But as the days pass by, only one thing comes into my mind.. and that is "SANA MAGING OKAY PA DIN KAMI" "SANA KAMI NA ULIT" pero I need to wait for another week para naman mas makapag-isip pa siya. :( I thought and said to myself na kaya ko na pala talaga na wala siya.. BUT its hard to pretend that everything is okay.. Pinaka ayokong feeling yung okay ako pag may friends then at the end of the day before I sleep malulungkot ako will realize na NAMIMISS KITA.. I really hope na yung paglayo ko sayo eh nakatulong kahit pano. Alam ko kasi na you need to think.. think really hard... Ayoko lang na ipilit yung sarili ko right now because mamaya ma-pressure ka nanaman and stuff like that.. baka mamaya it might lead you to decisions na you really don't mean.. EH di ako nanaman ang masasaktan.. I know you love me and you want me to stay pero ako, si ate mcihelle and your kuya sees you na super stress ka.. I guess okay rin muna yung ganito kasi naiiwasan nating magksakitan. PERO I MUST ADMIT NAMIMISS NA KITA! :( CHRISTMAS day is fast approaching :( ayaw ko ng SMP.. hahaha.. BUT on the 21st, that's the day na inaabangan ko and I'm hoping for a positive result :D

I LOVE YOU

I'M STILL INLOVE WITH YOU

It's the 6th day. And still the same, wala pa rin kaming communication. Haayy.. Si ate michelle talaga ang nagpapagaan ng loob ko and I guess she's right. Kilala niya si Jr for years kaya alam niya kung ano talaga itong si Jr. I need to wait for the right time, kapag dumating na yung right time sana maging okay na talaga. That's it for now. I feel so sleepy.

you know what bhei, kahit anong gawin kong pag-sasaya.. walang nangyayari.. i keep on pretending na okay. I hate the feeling ng sa morning masaya ko pero pag dating ng gabi nagiging malungkot nanaman ako..

I STILL LOVE YOU. AND I'M STILL HERE FOR YOU. PROMISE

MOVIE DATE WITH LOLA :)

♫But it won't last the day without you ♫

Just got home from the movie house. My lola and I had a movie date and we watched Sarah Geronimo and Gerald Anderson's movie. I loved the movie. SUPER. effort na effort si Gerald dito. Haayy.. it reminds me of.... Anyway.. this is the 3rd day.. :| What will happen next? :( I hope maging okay pa talaga.. mag-Christmas pa naman.. hehe.. Ang movie ay pang bitter sa umpisa but then at the end of the movie.. marerealize and maiisip mo na ANG SARAP MAINLOVE LALO NA KUNG MAHAL MO TALAGA :)

RAINY FRIDAY

Today, I realized na sobrang namimiss ko na siya kahit na pangalawang day pa lang ito ng "cool off". Siguro nga talagang love na ito, I mean true love. tsk.. ikaw ba naman masanay for 4 years and 9 months na lagi kayong magkasama or magkausap kahit super malabo ang sitwasyon.. sino bang hindi maattached sa ganun? Pero wala eh, kailangan ko mag-tiis.. ilang days pa bago ko babalik.. Pero I'm hoping na sana pag-balik ko maging okay pa din talaga.. haaayyy.. I MISS YOU :( I HOPE THINGS WILL GET BETTER pagbalik ko.. I"m hoping na pag-balik ko, bumuo ulit tayo ng masasayang unfirgettable memories.
:|

Words nga kailangan ng space eh.. Tao pa kaya?

Okay, so I said in my previous blogs that I love him and I will no end the relationship. But i've realized na habang pinapatagal ko yung pagiging "okay" kunware ng mga bagay.. eh the more na nagiging mahirap for me and him.. the more na nagiging complicated and let's just say na nagkakasakitan. Yes I still love him and I really love him. But last night, I did something for myself. I chose to lvoe myself this time. Ang kailangan lang muna ay SPACE and TIME. WE BOTH NEED THIS to think and to realize some things. He agreed on this naman and in fact ito yung gusto niya pero yung kanya HE WANTS ME TO LEAVE HIM just like that. Well alam ko na stressed and problemado siya. Fault ko naman din kasi kahit paano. But i think space would give him time to think and build his self again. Dinurog ko ata pagkatao niya eh. Well this is the first day of the cool off thing. The shocking part is, kung sino pa yung may gusto na ganun ang mangyari siya pa yung unang magtetext. "ANG SAKIT. GANITO PALA MAWALAN" and when I read the message, I felt the pain. And so I replied "di naman ako mawawala ng tuluyan eh. panandalian lang. easy. take time to think :)" Well honestly, hindi rin naman kasi ganun kadali bitawan ang relationship na meron kami. This is the first time na totoong COOL OFF ang ginawa namin. And I think okay muna yung ganun, kesa naman we still continue the relationship pero nagkakasakitan na kami. Letting him go for now ang best way para saming dalawa. MAHAL KO SIYA EH.. in fact, namimiss ko siya pero kailangan ko munang tiisin para naman makita ko yung worth ko this time. (medyo nakita ko na rin kanina when he texted.. it seems like proven talaga na hindi niya kaya.. hihi) but then again, yung space na hiningi ko is not just for him to think but also for me to rest for a while. Hurtful masyado. I'm kind of scared lang because maybe when the day comes na babalik ako.. baka he won't allow me to be a part of his life na. *knock on wood* basta sa ngayon, oo mahirap pero kailangan ko gawin ito. :)

Goodnight! :D

The ideal guy

One of the things that can turn me on about a guy is that he knows how to care and love the people whose around him. But not only that, it turns me on if I see him playing with kids and if i feel like he loves the kids. A while ago, my boyfriend and I went to the school of his nephew Wacky. I find them cute because when they talk to each other it seems like they have this bonding like a father and son. My boyfriend showed me that he is a good uncle to his nephew. While we were walking, he carried Wacky all the time.. HAHAHA ang iniisip ko lang he's a good person talaga though sometimes negative thinker. Pero wala naman din akong reklamo :D basta I'm happy kanina :)

I'm insensitive at times but I know how to say SORRY :)

This is the letter that I gave him a while ago when we were together. Things written there are really coming from my heart. And effort na din cause the last time i gave him a letter na hand written is first year college pa ko. This is a long and dramatic letter but nung binasa niya kanina I was expecting na he will say "corny mo" pero its different. I can say na nasaktan ko din talaga siya.. I discovered kasi na he's hurting like hell because he thought that I was really breaking up with him. In that letter I explained to him everything.. AS IN EVERYTHING :) Kasi i'm the type of person na pag nagsalita in person I don't care kung makasakit ako what matters most is ma-express ko sarili ko.. Pero after talking to him last night, sobrang nalungkot ako :( Kaya I've decided na panindigan ko na yung decision ko :> I'm just happy na kahit pano okay na ko :)





I LOVE YOU and no one or nothing in this world can change the way I feel for you. I'm blessed to have you. I know that our relationships is on the rocks. But I don't care. I will fight for this and I know that you need me. (ASSUMING?) :))) but seriously.. I just want you to know that the feelings I had for you never changed. I LOVE YOU :)




SORRY for everything. You know what I mean. Sorry for pushing you to do things that you don't do. But still Im happy cause the way you answered me last night proved to me that you are true to your feelings. :) Sorry for being so insensitive and selfish :|

I LOVE YOU :)

DECISION MAKING

"Decisions are the hardest to make, when it's a choice between where you should be and where you want to be."

Well definitely its true, making decisions for yourself is really hard. Based from my experience from this entire week. I am torn between two decisions. You can see it from my two or three previous blogs. As the songs says "LETTING GO IS NOT AN EASY TASK" well for me it is really hard especially if you're really and too much attached with the person.

I'm happy right now cause finally I made the right decision and that is not to end the relationship despite of the problems we're experiencing right now. I'm happy kasi ngayon cleared na talaga sakin lahat. I thank my bestfriend, ate michelle (his sister in law) and kuya nielsen (his older brother) kasi without them sobrang hindi mababawasan yung pain na nararamdaman ko. Not only that, with the help of his kuya and ate mas naintindihan ko siya. And somehow I've realized na may mali din ako. HAHAHA me and my tongue is not making ingat. Well ang masasabi ko lang talaga is mali din ako.. HAHAHAHA.. pero atleast kahit pano okay na ko. :)

Goodnight! :)

HELLO DECEMBER

Goodbye November... Hello December. :) Christmas Time... Countdown...

Today is not a so good day for me but still I was able to fix the things/issue that I needed to do. First is our thesis, we were able to finish the survey for the students but as for professors we still need 3 more professors for or interview and 4 more to answer our survey. It was nice seeing ourselves doing our very best to finish our tasks on time and a bit earlier. I'm proud of my group mates because even though they have their overload in their subjects.. Still they find time to help me in our thesis. I'm proud of you girls! :) Job well done for today!

Second is my problem with Him... But now some issues and problems were cleared. I thought I'll go home very drunk. Kasi nga super ouch na lang talaga.. To the poitn na gusto ko na uminom.. And I said to myself na kapag nag-break na kami talaga... IINOM AKO.. UNLIMITED :))) chos! mahal yun! pero iinom ako dapat. Pero gaya ng inaasahan ng friends ko... Walang break up na nangyari.. :> Thank God kasi natatakot din ako pag nangyari yun.. Pero if let's say nangyari yun.. then let it be. But ayun nga, hindi naman kami nag-break and was able to let him know how I feel about the problem we're facing right now. SO just as expected naging okay siya.. Pero maraming times naman akong umiyak.. It's kind of nakakapagod din pala umiyak.. Pero iba pala talaga kapag personal mo ng tinatapos ang relasyon niyo.. WOAH! Ayun nga, atleast kahit pano, nasettle na rin.. BUT di na ko nageexpect ng effort.. cause eversince naman ganun na siya... Mas okay na siguro yun kesa naman may third party siya.. :> hihi...

HELLO DECEMBER! PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME :) GOOD VIBES! :D

It only takes a day to change it

As I woke up this morning my brother was playing a song by Brno Mars and the song is Runaway. There are lyrics na talaga namang tinamaan ako at nalungkot nanaman ako.. First:

"When everything in love gets so complicated it only takes a day to change it"

Sana nga tama yung lyrics na yan.. Kaso its been two weeks na pero eto pa din.. Super complicated and habang tumatagal the more na nagiging complicated. Hindi naman sobrang laki ng problema eh.. Wala namang third party pero ang problema mismo.. IKAW... masyado kang negative and lahat na ata ng negative vibes kinuha mo.. I'm trying my very best para di ko magawang mapikon or maasar.. KAsi nga I know you too well and alam ko na pag negative ka na.. negative na and hindi ko na mababago yun.. Being your girlfriend it is my responsibility na INTINDIHIN KA.. pero hindi naman ata tama na ako ng ako na lang ang iintindi sayo? :( tao rin ako and napapagod.. DATI kaya kong itake lahat ng pain for you kasi alam kong yun dapat pero NGAYON napapagod na pala ko.. Have mercy naman. Makisama ka.. DALAWA tayong involve dito eh.. Willing akong ayusin natin 'to... KAsi I want this relationship to last pero kung talagang hindi na.. hindi ko na ipipilit pa..

Second:

"I won't give up I'm so much inlove"

Well.. kahit anong pretend gawin ko na kaya kong iwan ka.. I'M A LIAR.. I pretend na kaya kong iwan ka or igive up ka.. Pero at the end of the day alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi.. I preted na kaya ko kasi alam ko yung mga sasabihin nila and I don't want them to judge you.. But then hindi ko sila masisi if my friends would hate you dahil sa ginagawa mo sakin.. Ang nakakatuwa nga lang eh yung bestfriend ko na super nakikita na sobrang hurt ako would say na "bes kausapin mo lang" to think na dapat galit na galit sya sayo pero hindi.. kasi she knows that you love me so much.. alam niyang maayos pa 'to... I'm not asking for a PERFECT relationship.. ang gusto ko lang maayos and kung may conflict man or misunderstanding.. aayusin.. hindi yung hinahayaan lang.. ayoko ng relationship na tinatagao na nga complciated pa..

Forever Grateful

My "baby sisters"
POPULAR GIRLS a.k.a "POPPIE"
MEAN friends
ONE DOZEN eggs

I will be forever grateful because I have these ladies in my life. We may have different personality and perspective. But there's this one thing that I like about them. and that is I know that I can always count on them through ups and downs of my life. I love them so much. I can't imagine life without these ladies. They make me cry, tease me at times but they never fail to make me smile and laugh. I don't know what would my life look like if they don't exist in my life. I thank God because he gave me the opportunity to meet these ladies.

Popular Girls are my closest high school girlfriends. I remember the times when we use to fight other year level because they try to hurt one of our friends. Rain or shine, we were always there for each other. I miss them already.

MEAN friends.. we were friends from high school but when we got to college we found out that we were slowly building our own group. We are the girls who usually likes to "tambay" in my house. No dull moments with them.

Baby sisters.. we three started of as strangers. and who would have thought that we will be friends in facebook then started to become friends personally. I might not see Yelle and Mariz all the time but I am pretty sure that they know how much i love and treasure them.

One Dozen Eggs my college girlfriends. I thank them because every single day of my life in college is wonderful and colorful. We will be forever eggs through thick and thin. I LOVE YOU ONE DOZEN.

I may have a strong personality on the outside. But I am 100% sure I am very weak. I just thank God because aside from my family whom I can always run to, God gave them to me.

Forever is JUST a word

"There are things in life that you can't hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it"

A line that struck me today while I was browsing the internet. I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it time for me to let go of that LOVE? or it's just that I need some space? Maybe because things are becoming a routine. IS this what you call LOVE and HATE relationship? I'm so sad and confused right now. I don't know. This is not ME. I hate myself right now. HINDI KO DAPAT PINROPROBLEMA 'TO! HINDI NAMAN AKO GANITO EH. sobrang attached at sobrang nagmamahal lang din naman ako.. pero BAKIT KAILANGAN SOBRA KONG MASASAKTAN? It is hard for me to fight for a relationship na alam mong siya gusto na sumuko.. pero magulo kasi everytime I try to end the relationship biglang magiging okay nanaman..

GANITO BA TALAGA KA-COMPLICATED ANG LOVE? :(

SOMETIMES nakakapagod lang :|

4 to 5 months from now...

I now have with me my graduation pictures for MArch 2012.This will motivate me in my studying.. hehe.. I love my pictures :) I know I can make it! I trust God and myself! :)

SORRY

to my husby,

sorry for all the pain i've caused you. i never thought that i can hurt you so much. i did not expect this. i really don't know what to do to make you believe that you're the guy whom i really loved this way(except my father and siblings) I'M REALLY SORRY.. and i guess you are right, i really need to know who to prioritize first. but seriously its not easy for me to choose between you and my guy bestfriend. yes, there was a time wherein i had feelings for him but that was soooo yesterday. you are my life now baby. :( I AM SORRY, hope there's something I can do for you to forgive me.

love,

wifey :|


jealousy and insecurity are the two major word of the day :( i'm so sorry :(

Neenzy-a soul siren

This year is my last year as a student. And so we were tasked to do a write up for ourself and this will be posted on our yearbook. Since I really don't know myself, I asked a friend of mine if she could do the write up for me. So there, I really loved the way she written down all these things about me. This is written by Rinei Ledina :)

"She exudes simplicity beyond any student in the classroom. Her presence makes you feel warmth from a far and kindness when near. She doesn’t allow pessimism to get her way instead she sees every challenge in life with optimism and hope. This is Janina aka “Neenzy”

Janina is passionate about singing and she brings her talent through how she deals with her peers. Like a soul siren, she always makes sure that she vocalizes before doing any performance. Like in real life, Janina is a very disciplined and responsible individual, she diligently finishes the job on time and she always puts her 100% effort in everything she does. At the same time, she also tries to handle her relationships with the right tempo and tune. In short, she brings harmony to the group as she tries to settle arguments between friends. She finds pleasure in seeing other people glad and it breaks her heart seeing others in misery, this is her sole purpose, to make everybody happy. This is the reason why she is basically considered a genuine friend by everyone. In general, Janina is a very balanced individual. She sets her priorities straight and perceives the world with open possibilities and infinite dreams."

Through her write up about me, I now know that someone appreciates me :) I never expected that she would write these things about me. :)