Okay, so I said in my previous blogs that I love him and I will no end the relationship. But i've realized na habang pinapatagal ko yung pagiging "okay" kunware ng mga bagay.. eh the more na nagiging mahirap for me and him.. the more na nagiging complicated and let's just say na nagkakasakitan. Yes I still love him and I really love him. But last night, I did something for myself. I chose to lvoe myself this time. Ang kailangan lang muna ay SPACE and TIME. WE BOTH NEED THIS to think and to realize some things. He agreed on this naman and in fact ito yung gusto niya pero yung kanya HE WANTS ME TO LEAVE HIM just like that. Well alam ko na stressed and problemado siya. Fault ko naman din kasi kahit paano. But i think space would give him time to think and build his self again. Dinurog ko ata pagkatao niya eh. Well this is the first day of the cool off thing. The shocking part is, kung sino pa yung may gusto na ganun ang mangyari siya pa yung unang magtetext. "ANG SAKIT. GANITO PALA MAWALAN" and when I read the message, I felt the pain. And so I replied "di naman ako mawawala ng tuluyan eh. panandalian lang. easy. take time to think :)" Well honestly, hindi rin naman kasi ganun kadali bitawan ang relationship na meron kami. This is the first time na totoong COOL OFF ang ginawa namin. And I think okay muna yung ganun, kesa naman we still continue the relationship pero nagkakasakitan na kami. Letting him go for now ang best way para saming dalawa. MAHAL KO SIYA EH.. in fact, namimiss ko siya pero kailangan ko munang tiisin para naman makita ko yung worth ko this time. (medyo nakita ko na rin kanina when he texted.. it seems like proven talaga na hindi niya kaya.. hihi) but then again, yung space na hiningi ko is not just for him to think but also for me to rest for a while. Hurtful masyado. I'm kind of scared lang because maybe when the day comes na babalik ako.. baka he won't allow me to be a part of his life na. *knock on wood* basta sa ngayon, oo mahirap pero kailangan ko gawin ito. :)
Goodnight! :D
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